In a now-viral Reddit post, the woman, 23, said she instead asked her uncle to do the honor of giving her away to her future husband.
She decided against asking her stepfather, who married her mother when she was 12 because she “hates” him and attributes her “mental illness and eating disorder” to him and his bullying when she was a child.
“I’ve never liked him,” she wrote. “He says horrible things to people, says racist, sexist, transphobic things for attention, and heavily contributed to my mental illness and eating disorder as a teenager.”
The Reddit poster said she once confided to her mother about how she felt about her stepfather when she was 15.
“My mom knows that we don’t get along, and she knows I didn’t like him,” she said. “She would always insist that despite having a nasty mouth, he was a really good guy and he would never hurt us.”
She “mostly” stopped talking to him over the years, she said, despite the fact that her stepfather “still refers to me as his daughter and my mother insists he loves me.
“It is not mutual, but everyone has assumed that I love him too.”
So when it came down to deciding who would walk her down the aisle, she said, it was a no-brainer. Her family is small, and since she never knew her father, she always wanted her uncle to be the one to do the honor.
But when word got back to her mother, things did not go so well.
“My mom called me crying asking why I wouldn’t want step dad to do it, saying it’s broken his heart,” the future bride wrote. “She pressed on about how heartbroken he is, saying he always thought we had a good, funny relationship.
She continued, “I said, ‘There was nothing funny about him ruining my self esteem and teenage years. I hate him and if it were up to me, he wouldn’t even be at the wedding.’”
Her stepfather is now angry with her and asked the uncle not to walk her down the aisle. What’s more, she said, the uncle is no longer speaking to the stepfather.
“I feel like I’ve torn what little family I have apart,” she added.
Reddit users weighed in on the family drama and mostly sided with the bride.
“Your wedding. He doesn’t have to even be there. It’s your day,” one Redditor commented. “The fact he’s tried to ruin it by getting your uncle involved days a lot about him.”
“If stepdad really loved her like mom thinks, he’d be reevaluating how he’s treated her, not trying to screw up her wedding to soothe his ego,” another Redditor said. “This right here proves he’s a jerk.”
Others called out the bride’s mother for not stepping in between her daughter and husband earlier.
“She knew you didn’t like it, she knew exactly how he made you feel because you freaking told her! And she decided to just ignore it all and pretend everything was perfect,” one person wrote.
Another Redditor agreed: “Mom put her husband ahead of her child, which is almost always unacceptable.”